I think that motherhood has become a dangerous race of more, more, more.
If you do not home-school your 11 children while growing your own vegetables, running marathons, building your own furniture, creating perfect parties, feeding your children disguised kale, fitting into jeans tiny enough to fit your toddler into and also maintaining fulfilling girlfriend relationships… then it is easy to feel like you don’t measure up. I know that I often feel that I just don’t measure up.
One day I allowed myself to fall down the rabbit hole of Iamnotgoodenough. My son found me with my head on the desk and tears in my eyes and a dreadful case of the woe is me’s. He was so concerned until I voiced that I was worried that I was not a good enough allthethings but that I especially hoped that I was not failing my sweet kids. He literally laughed out loud and snorted, because to him, that was ridiculous. “Mom,” he said “you are the best.” I don’t think that I realized that I was needing to hear that they were OKAY. THEY ARE ALRIGHT. and THRIVING. HAPPY. I decided to hang up my shoes and stop running the race. To find contentment in today, because as they say, it will never come again. Tomorrow I will long for it, so I needed to spend more time enjoying the moments of it instead of worrying it away.
I know that many of my clients are looking into the eyes of precious, tiny babies and wondering, too, if they are a flunk at this mom gig. You wait for the day that you can get some feedback. What I have finally learned after all of these years is that if they are happy, you are a smashing success. You are everything that they need, you are all that they want. Just as you are.
Good job, mom.